Best Relationship Advice to Improve Love and Understanding
Naturally, no human being can be perfect in all aspects of life. And when it comes to relationship, complications and difficulties are inevitable. Here, I have picked up some of the best relationship advice to improve love and understanding from experts that will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. • Be honest and Truthful about Your Sentiments“Honesty is the best policy”- definitely an old saying but is applicable in all matters at all times. A relationship can only prosper when both partners are true to each other. .
• Express Love through Words or Actions EverydayWe often tend to take our loved ones for granted, and this enroots complications and misunderstandings. Professor at the Oakland University Dr. Terri Orbuch says, “Saying and doing small, simple expressions of gratitude every day yields big rewards. When people feel recognized as special and appreciated, they’re happier in that relationship and more motivated to make the relationship better and stronger.
Squeeze Some Time from Your Schedule to Talk About the RelationshipNot only one, but both partners need to take some time out and have a full conversation with one another about your relationship. This will help both of you to understand each other and work things out in a better •
Never be Insensitive About Your PartnerIndividual and couples’ relationship therapist, Irina Firstein advice that “This may sound obvious, but you can’t imagine how many people come to couples therapy too late when their partner is done with a relationship and wants to end it. It is very important to realize that everyone potentially has a breaking point, and if their needs are not met or they don’t feel seen by the other, they will more than likely find it somewhere else
Your Partner is Not Your Best Friend- So Don’t Expect them to BeIt may seem so at the start of the relationship, but your partner is not your best friend. You need to lower down your expectations. The needs of a partner are far more different than a friend. You cannot treat your partner like a friend and neither can expect to be treated that way.
TGive Your Relationship Short BreaksWhile learning best relationship advice to improve love and understanding, it is very essential to realize than consistency can have an enormously devastating impact in your life. To keep things fresh, you need to take short breaks in a relationship.
Desire to have a Loving Relationship with Your “The One”A brilliant psychotherapist Jennifer L. Silverstein says that, “My favorite piece of advice is the idea that every day we wake up and decide to feel affection towards our partner, “When we wake up and the first thing we notice is a flaw in our partner, it will be hard to feel connected and in love for the rest of that day,” “If we wake up and identify something we love or admire, that sets the tone.” It is extremely necessary to be willing to take the relationship further. Having some bumps in the road is a usual thing, but you got to be sure about your partner’s presence around you. •
Fighting is Inevitable, But be Sure to Make it ProductiveFor anyone who is keen on learning the best relationship advice to improve love and understanding, one is for sure, that that person is sincere about his/ her relationship. And arguments happen in all relationships, but you got to make them sensible and productive eventually.
The Way You Fight is More Important than the Subject of FightingAssistant professors of communication at the Texas State University, Dr. Sean M Horan advice to keep your tone balanced while fighting, and concentrate on the issue rather than the expressions. He says, “Researchers have found that four conflict messages are able to predict whether couples remain together or get divorced: contempt, criticism, stonewalling (or withdrawal), and defensiveness. Together, they’re known as the ‘Four Horsemen of Divorce.’ Instead of resorting to these negative tactics, fight fairly: Look for places where each partner’s goal overlaps into a shared common goal and build from that. Also, focus on using ‘I’ vs. ‘you’ language.”
• There is No Harm in Asking for Advice from a Close FriendNo one can know each and everything completely and perfectly. Your friend knows your personality and your personality very well, plus he/ she can understand the situation in a better manner while studying it from a third person’s perspective. Things that you maybe not considering, your friend can guide you about, which in the long run help you mend your relationship. This is surely one of the best relationship advice to improve love and understanding which do no harm but only positive. •
Don’t Try to Be Each Other’s Boss or a TeacherEvery relation needs to be built on equal grounds. When one of the partners tries to dominate the other, things become harsh and difficult to handle. Renowned Couples’ therapist Matt Lundquist says that “‘You are my everything’ is a lousy pop-song lyric and an even worse relationship plan. No one can be ‘everything’ to anyone. Create relationships outside The Relationship, or The Relationship isn’t going to work anymore.” •
Saying “I Love You” is Not Enough, You Got to Show it with Your ActionsYou need to always remember that only loving is not important, rather you need to show it with your actions or express it in words is necessary as well. A remarkable psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith who wrote “The Happy Couple” said, “the act of showing matters, because we don’t say those three little words as often as we should,” “A random act of kindness doesn’t take much, but it can make a big difference,”
• Feel the Vitality of Intimacy during SexAs time passes on, couples tend to be distant from each other. And the hot sex which seems to be the most important thing in life is seldom done. Loss of sex is like the loss of life from the relationship. Intimacy and sex are necessary. Licensed sex and marriage therapist Dr. Kat Van Kirk says, “Sex isn’t just about orgasms. It’s about sensation, emotional intimacy, stress relief, improved health (improved immune and cardiovascular system), and increased emotional bonding with your partner, thanks to the wonderful release of hormones due to physical touch. There are many more reasons to have sex than just getting off.” •
Figure Out What Bothers You two the Most and Talk About themJoseph Cilona says regarding this, “Focusing on the issue rather than blame can allow for more effective problem solving and a team-based approach,” Consider this one of the best relationship advice to improve love and understanding and try to act on it. •
Be with Someone with Whom you Share Mental CompatibilityMental compatibility is the key to success in any relationship. Assistant professor at the Department of Psychology at the California State University, San Bernardino, Dr. Kelly Campbell said, “For long-lasting love, the more similarity (e.g., age, education, values, personality, hobbies), the better. Partners should be especially sure that their values match before getting into marriage. Although other differences can be accommodated and tolerated, a difference in values is particularly problematic if the goal is long-lasting love. Another secret for a long marriage: Both partners need to commit to making it work, no matter what. The only things that can break up a relationship are the partners themselves.” •
Financial Issues are a Fundamental Part of Real Life, Don’t Shy Away from Discussing ThemIt may seem easy to figure out major finances, but when it comes to spending money; both of the partners must feel easy to talk about it. Joseph Cilona says, “A couple that communicates their financial goals, and is willing to work together to achieve them, will likely have a deeper bond," •
Try to Be Nice during an ArgumentYou need to keep your calm during an argument. It is not wise to shout and lose your temper during a fight, on which you’ll eventually have regrets. Carrie Cole says, “Research has shown that the way a problem is brought up determines both how the rest of that conversation will go and how the rest of the relationship will go. Many times an issue is brought up by attacking or blaming one’s partner, also known as criticism, and one of the killers of a relationship. So start gently. Instead of saying, ‘You always leave your dishes all over the place! Why can’t you pick anything up?’ try a more gentle approach, focusing on your own emotional reaction and a positive request. For example: ‘I get annoyed when I see dishes in the living room. Would you please put them back in the kitchen when you’re finished?'” Carrie Cole is a certified Gottman therapist and licensed trainer at the Gottman Institute. •
Create a Wholesome Life for Both of YouRather than thinking on an individual level, think as a couple. Relationship expert Charlie Bloom says, “Like many people, I grew up believing that marriage required self-sacrifice. Lots of it. My wife, Linda, helped me see that I didn’t have to become a martyr and sacrifice my own happiness in order to make our marriage work. She showed me that my responsibility in creating a fulfilling and joyful life for myself was as important as anything else that I could do for her or the kids. Over the years, it’s become increasingly clear to me that my responsibility to provide for my own well-being is as important as my responsibility to others. This is easier said than done, but it is perhaps the single most important thing we can do to ensure that our relationship will be mutually satisfying.” Charlie Bloom is the author of “Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truth from Real Couples about Lasting Love” • Be Considerate of Your Partner’s NeedsHighly recommended dating expert and psychologist Dr. Jeremy Nicholson says, “The number one thing I have learned about love is that it is a trade and a social exchange, not just a feeling. Loving relationships are a process by which we get our needs met and meet the needs of our partners too. When that exchange is mutually satisfying, then good feelings continue to flow. When it is not, then things turn sour, and the relationship ends. That is why it is important to pay attention to what you and your partner actually do for each other as expressions of love… not just how you feel about each other at the moment.” • Be Considerate of Yourself as wellThinking about your well being is very important. You need to do things that make you happy. While making amends in your personality to keep the relationship progressive, it is necessary to think about your happiness as well. Co-creator of Inner Bonding and relationship expert, Dr. Margaret Paul says, “There is one major cause of relationship problems: self-abandonment. We can ‘abandon’ ourselves in many areas: emotional (judging or ignoring our feelings), financial (spending irresponsibly), organizational (being late or messy), physical (eating badly, not exercising), relational (creating conflict in a relationship), or spiritual (depending too much on your partner for love). When you decide to learn to love yourself rather than continue to abandon yourself, you will discover how to create a loving relationship with your partner.” •
Don’t Pressurize Your PartnerPressuring someone, and forcing them to act or live their life in a particular manner can be really devastating for their personality as well as to your relationship. You need to go easy on each other, thus to enjoy living happily ever after. Chelsea Holland, a remarkable sex and relationship therapist working at the Intimacy Institute says, “The penis-vagina model of sex comes with pressures, such as having an orgasm at the same time or the idea that an orgasm should happen with penetration. With these strict expectations come a pressure on performance that ultimately leads many to feel a sense of failure and frustration. Instead, try to expand your concept of sex to include anything that involves close, intimate connection with your partner, such as sensual massages, taking a nice shower or bath together,
Keep Sexual Intimacy OnAmong all the best relationship advice to improve love and understanding, this will definitely be applicable to all the dwindling relationships. Because sexual intimacy is extremely important to keep the interest going in any relationship. Licensed individual and Sex and couples therapist, Dr. Sari Cooper said, “Many times people become increasingly shy with the person they love the more as time goes by. Partners begin to take their love for granted and forget to keep themselves turned on and to continue to seduce their partner. Keep your ‘sex esteem’ alive by keeping up certain practices on a regular basis. This allows you to remain vibrant, sexy, and engaged in your love life.” •
Listen to Your Partner Intently, and Repeat those Words Once in Your Mind Before Making Any CommentHaste makes waste. There is no point in speaking or shouting right away. Rather you must be considerate of your tone, and be wise not to react right away. Joseph Cilona says, “You will be endlessly surprised at how the simplest statements are heard differently by various people, This not only dramatically improves the accuracy and quality of communication by allowing for correction of misinterpretations, but also creates of strong sense of being heard and understood in each partner.” •
Talk About Your Conflicts and Try to Work things OutCommunication can keep the beauty of your relationship alive. Rather than shouting and arguing, it is better to lay down your issues on the table to talk. Psychotherapist Ken Page says, “Every couple has what I call a ‘good conflict.’ In long-term relationships, we often feel that the thing you most need from your partner is the very thing he or she is least capable of giving you. This isn’t the end of love—it’s the beginning of deeper love! Don’t run from that conflict. It’s supposed to be there. In fact, it’s your key to happiness as a couple—if you both can name it and commit to working on it together as a couple. If you approach your ‘good conflicts’ with bitterness, blame, and contempt, your relationship will turn toxic.” K
